Who's A Chicky SPARTAN!?!?

Ahhh, I have been meaning to get this done. Oh blog, how I have neglected you.... I have been recovering from and anticipating pictures from the Carolinas Super Spartan Race. They were posted the other evening, and much to my chagrin, not too many of my smiley face were found. There were about 12 of me crawling the barbed wire (half were not a positive angle) and I have spent the better part of the last 48 hours debating if it is worth purchasing them at all... Until I can decide (leaning toward no) to buy these shots (bib# 16744), I am going to share other peoples moments of exhibited athleticism (hope you don't mind!!!) from the Spartan Race fb page (and yes, you should go & 'like' them!).

Having said all of that, the event itself - Pretty Friggen AWESOME!

As Heather & I made our way up to Winnsboro, SC (yeah I didn't know where that was either), at o'dark thirty Saturday morning, the nervous energy was just buzzing...or was that because Heather was stenciling our shirts with permanent marker?!?! Anyway, there was some buzz and I did at one point have to open my window! Our best laid out plans for these uber creative shirts didn't exactly go as planned but I really think they turned out so great - and we were even complimented on them a few times during the race!

I really, really, REALLY wanted to have some awesome pictures of me and Heather to show off the race, and our athletic ability (or just sheer will to finish) - that, and at some point of the race, I was fully depleted of energy stores and my memory section of my brain shutdown because I feel like I spent half a day trying to remember what happened when... So Jason Miller (psychoiiimoose) obviously a forward thinker, had avoided this conundrum by strapping himself with a Spartan-Proof video camera - so THANK YOU Jason - you have made my recap just a little easier (and you made it look easier than I remember it being...lol)... WARNING: Explicit Lyrics, so if you are viewing in the office or around rugrats, use the mute button or put on the earmuffs!

As we approached the Starting line, I glanced around... not too many people in this last wave of the day... that's ok, it's not competetive at this point, we just want to finish! Heather, well she is always nervous about races, any race, which is crazy because there's no money at stake...lol I looked up at this hill, it seemed bigger than a hill really, and there was a line of fire...hmmm... Heather and I were debating as to whether we were going to have to jump over it as we were run uphill. As it turns out yes, that is exactly the expectation - quick lesson in gravity and momentum - this was not good...lol Luckily, they had Sparky the fireman up there, hose at the ready, dousing any poor s.o.b. who's shoes caught fire (I actually heard there was a chick whose laces went a blaze and ended up with burns, but that was scuttlebutt and not first hand facts).


After leaping ever so gracefully over the flames, it was into our first water feature (doesn't that sound so homey?) - have I mentioned my distaste for clay dirt? Yeah, it's part of what makes South Carolina, well South Carolina! In I went, and when I came out, I busted my a$$ not once but twice because if you didn't know it, when clay is wet, it's just a tad slippery! Think pottery wheel, the movie Ghost, except we aren't being all romantic doing arts & crafts! After a quick recovery I scampered off into the woods like Bambi's mom dodging the hunter... Have I mentioned the last time I ran trails was like, oh never... I run on roads, with street lights... what have I gotten myself into?

Heather of course was all about the trails, she led the way as I grew dizzy trying to figure out where I was supposed to land my feet... not a 'trail' as I would think of it to be... like mini revines to test your agility and strength of your ITB's... I am not even sure how long that lasted, but I was having flash backs from Ft. Jackson (where I did my Basic in '93) and somehow thought I should have had that canteen belt afterall... I'd like to interject here that I was totally enjoying this experience, even if I was completely out of my element! I said to Heather, 'Maybe I should have worn my trail shoes' (ha I don't OWN trail shoes...never have! WTH was I even talking about?)

My thigh, yikes!

I vaguely remember some walls, and some tires I was supposed to cram my fat A$$ through, and of course Heather contemplating how she might scale a 6ft wall with barbed wire across the top?!?! Ah Heather, this is not Mission Impossible, go under the wall not over..lol - I will admit, I was starting to think I just wasn't too good at these obstacles... then redemption! A cargo net!!! YAY! I love the cargo net! Anyone who went to elementary school with me (yeah it's highly unlikely you are reading my blog but whatev) knows 'Open Gym' consisted of some pretty awesome things to do. One being a huge cargo net that went from floor to ceiling, as well as the uneven parallel bars (where I would dream of being a gymnast, a dream crushed early on in my youth, like the 4th grade), a rope climb, a swing rope and the balance beam (see crushed dream above)...but I digress, so I shimmied up that thing like I was a spiderman on uppers, and back down the other side (my nephew, who loves Spiderman, would have been so proud!).


There were a few obstacles that are all blurred together, some water, climbing over what looked like an abandoned beaver dam, some log hopping which seriously, I have the agility and balance of a hippo so 30 burpees for me... oh the crevis in the A$$ crack of the earth, affectionately named "NAM", it smelt like a crack and the chick behind me said, "If you feel anything slither by you let me know!", haha NOT, if it's by me I'm getting the hell on & I suggest you do the same! Anyway, for a split second I thought, where is my M-16? I should be carrying it over my head...

That delightful pit of thigh high waste water led to the concrete block pully thing. Dude said to me, "Over here Lil' Bit!" - Really? I guess that's what you get when you stretch to make 5'3... I diligently hoisted the cinder block up and slowly released it down as per his request and he said, "Now 24 more!" - I looked at him like, ok, and he quickly realized I was there to do what I was told (another flash back to Basic) and then said, "No, just once" - Come on! Don't mess with me man! I want to say we had the tire carry next (not any ordinary carry) - I scooped up a tire and proceeded downhill into the woods, where I yelled to Heather, "You know if we are going downhill, we will have to go back up!" - indeed... climbing over downed limbs and dodging mini ditches with a tire on my shoulder...midway through, I switched sides...Upon completion, another wall - this time it looked like it was at least 8ft tall... have I mentioned I'm just a "Lil Bit"? As I recollect all of these moments, I quickly realize why I am so friggen bruised!

I truly am unsure of how things all went down, I'd have to re-watch the video to get the order correct, honestly, I am so far behind in posting this, I urge you just to watch the video... The barbed wire crawl was brutal, it was long and the wire - low...very low... I have a big bubble butt & this volunteer kept yelling 'Keep your butt down!' - I am thinking.. "REALLY? Have you seen what I'm working with???" This crawl (reminiscent of a night fire low crawl without the long sleeves and in broad daylight, oh and voluntary?!?!) was seemingly never ending. It became painfully apparent that I had to switch strategies (see elbow pic for explanation) - I moved from the arm over arm to the back scootch to the side roll... incentive... water at the end of it...thank god!

So you know how I may have mentioned previously my lack of skill on a particular obstacle? Well, yeah, this one cost me 30 burpees... I am really determined to be able to conquer my fear of Monkey Bars, so that next time I am faced with this, I am ready to rock them... I mean in all my 35+ years I have never, and I mean NEVER been able to string together more than 3 rungs consecutively. It really is the bain of my existence... I have developed an unhealthy discord for this playground apparatus... maybe I need training... or perhaps therapy?

I do have to say, there was a sludge pit that was hell to try to get out of, the ropes were full of slippery clay mud and I did get some assistance from a fellow spartan, which you will find is a theme, we want everyone to finish! I was relieved after what felt like us going in circles in the woods, to come upon a long swim, the water (albeit brown like my baby girls morning diaper, and smelt similar too!) was chilly... I could have just hung out and relaxed, floating around on my back as if at some point a cabana boy was going to bring me a frosty beverage... but SNAP! back to reality! The life guard asked me if I wanted to switch shoes, cute flipper ;)

After that was the rope line, I have ZERO upper body strength left (and lets not get crazy or delusional thinking I had a whole lot to begin with) and quickly realized I was not making it across this water, DROP... 30 more burpees - thank you very much! We were then instructed to pick up a sand bag (40lbs), carry it to the bottom of the hill, climb the hill and then jump into the water (which we were told was 15 ft deep)... I was trying to do a cannon ball but unfortunately, it didn't happen. This is where the picture of me would be awesome but I really am too cheap to buy it! Anyway, I wish I had the disposable camera as Heather sashayed by the girl who then instructed us to go ahead and courteously return our sandbag to the top of the hill...seriously!

Honestly, I am not sure what was after that... more trails? maybe... I know there were more walls, and these sizable mounds of dirt which had become a trap of slick mud (yay last wave!) - maybe like 5 or 6 in a row... I kept slipping and I could feel my knee getting so sore as it repeatedly slammed back into the earth, I mean I delivered 2 babies without painkillers, so it wasn't enough to make me stop - but it was just a tad uncomfortable... I just knew it was going to be a b!tch come Sunday. After I got my sorry butt through that, there were 2 more walls followed by what was left of the once substantially awesome fire jump... Next was the javelin throw, I had to get it to stick into the haystack spartan... yeah, 30 more burpees! As if my knee hadn't seen enough punishment, the soapy wall! Well at least I believe that was what they were squirting on it.. 

The finale, the one thing I was sooo looking forward to was taking on the pugil boys... protecting Heather from the brutality (this was one thing she was most concerned about) - well they must have been tired or uninterested... we made our way through with very little contact...

While the Carolinas Super Spartan was by far the most insane physical and mental challenge I have paid to do, there were a few things I'd like to mention... 

1. The last wave kinda got screwed out of the big finish fire... it was smoldering ash, which was kinda lame for me - I didn't have the opportunity to jump over the flames in the down hill direction, so that was a little bit of a bummer.

2.  The "pugil boys" as I call them, at the end, well they were well over their job by the time we got there... I was really hoping for a battle, but instead I got a little love tap - sorry boys I'm married... Even though I have had 2 people comment (one being my husband) on the picture of the pugilists, specifically referencing the pugil boy on the right... To the best of my knowledge, that is part of his Spartan skirt and NOT what it may appear to be to those with ill minds.

What I would like to see are some insane Spartan chicks at the finish (like Zena, Warrior Princess!) who aren't afraid to take another chick down... Somehow I think these boys were just too afraid to hurt the girls (which is crazy because I'd put you on your ass, without hesitation, in about a millisecond!)

3. Some how the Carolina Super Spartan got lost amongst all the coverage of the Death Race, which I understand, those are true competitors, taking physical and mental will to levels I can not even begin to understand... but the Spartan Sprint in NY was all the buzz on FB & Twitter... and well Carolinas, sadly was not. I'm not an attention wh@re by any means, but really - I think the event was a little lost in the shadows of the Death Race. (that's my opinion - still got nothing but love for the Spartan Race Peeps!)

So as I bring this to a close, I was already trying to plot and scheme my way to the Beast in Vermont, but it doesn't look like anything close to that is going to be feasible... Airfare is too expensive, a road trip is highly unlikely... and well with all that I try to make happen in my 'normal' life (haha yeah it's normal to me) - adding more races to my schedule may just cause Stephen to disown me...not really but seriously, I love him for being so supportive and understanding because I didn't become this insane until after the "I do's" were done, but hey isn't that how it goes?

Like me on FB!

Well it took me almost a week to crank this out, although I have been writing it in my head almost as I was doing it.. and definitely post-race, while enjoying my #9 from Taco Bell (yes, I am aware that Taco Bell isn't the healthiest choice but seriously, I'm a Spartan now & if you weren't keeping track - I did 120 burpees!!!) - I think I may even had a few dreams of writing this... I hope I did it justice!

It's now 10pm on a Friday night, race gun goes off at 7am tomorrow morning... Independence 8k, and I am about 90% sure this will not be a PR setter... I could only walk/jog until Wednesday and only did one day of actual running... But who knows, maybe I'll surprise myself with all these rest days!!! 

Super Spartan Race SATURDAY!

I must apologize, I never hit publish... damn it...but here is what I was thinking before the race!

There comes a time in everyones life when we have to face a situation that makes us well, uneasy. For me, the time is now. As the countdown to Super Spartan Carolinas dwindles, I can feel my body tightening and my heart beat just a little harder at the prospect of what is to come at 11am Saturday morning. This apprehension was multiplied after watching the video from the Spartan Race in Tuxedo, NY. Honestly, it looks like a fabulously muddy, sweaty, challenging good time where the will of your mind needs to exceed that of your body. Admittedly, I am nervous, I could never do Monkey Bars...damn it - I hope there aren't any monkey bars!
See what I mean, monkey bars! Anyway, I am excited - I am nervous, and I know I am going to finish! I might not be fast, I might not be gracious, but I will be a SPARTAN... bonus would be to CHICK some dudes...lol And while good old Webster hasn't added this to the dictionary, to CHICK a dude, basically, it's when a dude has been left in the dust by a female athlete...he has been CHICKED. Now, I am not saying I will be able to do this, but I have to believe there is at least one dude out there that will be reading the back of my shirt!

Speaking of shirts, Heather & I are about to get crafty - AGAIN. It really is fun to make our own shirts, and we have learned that 'puffy paint' as we call it, shows up even after you are covered in mud!

So now its Tuesday, I will save all my detailed Super Spartan Race reporting until I can get my hands on some awesome pics (of me & Heather) because me telling you guys about it - well it wouldn't be the same without pictures! Stay tuned & I promise this time I will click 'Publish'... seriously.

Exciting things happening!

Some very exciting things happening to kick off my self proclaimed "Stress Free" weekend! Yesterday at 1pm, I sat for the American College of Sport Medicine (ACSM) Health Fitness Specialist (HFS) exam. I spent hours (admittedly not enough time) reviewing for this exam, it encompasses all that I have learned for my Bachelors in Exercise Science, everything. I had really gotten to the point where I just thought, let me just take this exam and get it over with already! Thinking about it for weeks was wearing me out, and at the same time, had my nerves balled up and the butterflies in my stomach on speed!

How I imagine I looked
when I saw I Passed!

As I got to the testing center, it was as if I was sitting for some Top Secret CIA program. All jewelry, sunglasses, and any personal items were to be locked in a locker. She said if I wanted to keep my wedding ring on, she'd just have to inspect it. I am not sure if it was to ensure I didn't have someone out in the car googling info and somehow transmitting it to me, but whatever - I just took everything off to be compliant and without it being hassle. I also needed two forms of ID with signatures, and I couldn't even carry in my water! I tell you, I could have used that water half way through this 150 question multiple choice free for all (well not free - the exam is over $200 and retake is $150 - another reason I had to pass!!!). Anyway, mid-way through I felt like, ok this isn't bad, that flip flopped a few times, isn't bad - when did we cover that - ok I got this - I've never seen that before... then finally it was time to "End Review"... Deep Breath... <CLICK> ... (open eyes slowly)... PASS!!! THANK GOD!!! The picture of my princess kind of resembles how I think I looked as I stared at my final screen in the testing room...

Another happening is the interview Heather & I had last week, well it's published. I paid the $1.50 for the entire paper just for this little tidbit. If you want to read the entire edition of the Myrtle Beach Herald, you can subscribe online.  I hope they don't mind that I put this on here... Although, please substitute 'Epton' for all references to 'Eaton' - I know, darn that spellcheck - it doesn't like my name...

So there you have it, one week until Super Spartan! 8 miles of Hell that we are more than looking forward to! Yes, I think for the most part I haven't quite prepared mentally or physically, but that's why you find a friend just as insane as you are to do it too... for the encouragement... besides, we have to finish now - we are Accountable!!! 

In other news, Beachbody has announced the new Shakeology flavor - TROPICAL! I am super stoked to try it... I love fruit, so if this is anywhere near as good as the Chocolate... I will be ALL about it!  

Well time for me to sign off and enjoy this stress-free, study-free, family filled Saturday! Tomorrow is Father's Day, so if you are like me, today is the day to get that card, and finish constructing prezzies...lol When did I become a procrastinator? Oh right, about 7 months ago ;)

Super Spartan T-18 days!

Oh man, time is ticking away! In no time at all I will be dawning my muddy competition gear for another physical challenge... this one far exceeding those of the recent past. On June 2nd, I threw caution to the wind and officially registered...the countdown to Carolinas Super Spartan Race has begun!  I posed the question, 'Are you cool with this (SS Race)?' and my husbands response to me was, 'As long as you come back in one piece!' Well I will do my best, seriously, my best...lol

I follow SPARTAN RACE on facebook, I love seeing the pictures from the events, and get the workouts too... The recent photos from the New York Spartan Sprint (around 3 miles) in Tuxedo, NY (which reminds me of my younger club days in Tuxedo Junction, but that was in CT..lol) looked awesome! Fire, barbed wire, climbing, crawling... I mean what more can a girl ask for? Oh yeah, Super Spartan is 8+ miles of hell (seriously, that is the description on the site) - so more of all those awesome obstacles, more of a physical punishment for which I have paid to participate, more, more, more!

I did however, make every attempt to have my registration paid for. I contacted people who knew people to try to get someone, anyone to write about the race in the local papers. I even offered to write it if they would publish it... no dice... I did get a response of, 'The Spartan Race website looks awesome!' and then said he'd forward the information on to all these other papers. That was May 26th. A follow up email was sent on June 1st, and I have yet to get a response. I decided to register and pay out of my own pocket before the event sold out and I would be ass out (excuse my french)... No big, well it is because it's not cheap but hopefully it will be worth it!

So, now here is it, less than 3 weeks away and I have been working on my strength training... I am not delusional by any means. I will probably not be lifting my body weight by then, unless I lose about 40lbs (which would not be conducive to competing or my overall health and well being for that matter). My hope is to be in better shape in 18 days than I am today, honestly - what more can I ask for right?

Heather and I have been planning our girl road trip - which will undoubtedly include girl karaoke because come on - what would a road trip be without it? Disappointing, that's what! So we will sing our little hearts out (I hope she is prepared, my dad compared my singing to a dying cat once!) as we make our way to Winnsboro, SC... I hope she likes Eminem :)

So I would encourage anyone who thinks they are Spartan enough, and even those self-doubters to go ahead and check out the site, SPARTANRACE.COM and believe in yourself enough to give it a go... Find a race near you, throw caution to the wind and sign up! You only live once people, live it with a competitive spirit and do not limit yourself!!! You are stronger and more bad ass than you probably give yourself credit for!!!

If you live in, near or will be visiting the Winnsboro, SC area, and still need a little more incentive, you can save yourself a little coin by using the promo code "MARK"... Sign up before June 8th otherwise fees rise again...

Am I a SPARTAN!?!?

Do I really have what it takes to be a Spartan??? I know, some of you are wondering just what the heck I am talking about right? There is a Spartan Race in Winnsboro, SC on June 25th - Carolinas Super Spartan and I have been asked by fellow Exercise Science, running partner in crime, Heather, to carpool (such a mommy thing to do) to this race... This event is 8 miles of rugged outdoors, mud pits, pyro jumps and barbed wire...sound fun? Ah yeah - and a little crazy too!

This is the description off their website:

"The Super Spartan obstacle race provides an 8+ mile battlefield of insane mud running with 15 or more obstacles to test your physical strength and mental resolve. This mud fest of a race will have many trials to push you to your limits that any man or woman with resolve can complete! This endurance race consists of mud runs, trails, and both mental and physical obstacles and challenges. The good news is that after you complete your painful journey, there will be live music and a catered meal to soothe your aching joints. Top 3 Males and top 3 Females at each Super Spartan qualify for a free entry into the Spartan Death Race."

Ok, so lets be real, the chances of me actually being one of those top 3 Females qualifying for the Death Race, well slim and none, and slim isn't taking the challenge...lol The only way I would do that is if for some reason, the only females to register were me, Heather, and one other... chances, again, slim & none. Besides, I don't know how thrilled I am with the tag line of 'You may die' - well I guess it is inevitable, but I'd hate to go out like that...I am sure they aren't really trying to kill you (if I am wrong - someone correct me now!)

I *had* such a nice abdominal wall...lol

I have run this idea by my hubby, I think he was finishing up his Wendy's baconator - so I was hoping to have him distracted...just kidding honey, I love you. Seriously though, this would be probably the most intense, insane experience since night fire on the range and delivering 2 children without an epidural(obviously three separate intense experiences)... When I think about going to this event I get butterflies, petrified yet excited little butterflies bouncing all over my once taut abdominal wall...

With 36 days left before this event, and having yet to commit, one thing is for sure - I need to TRAIN. I must start doing something - anything... my upper body strength is that of a small 5 year old boy... I caught a cramp the other day holding Gabriella and I am sure she only weighs like 14 pounds. Yes, I have work to do... could this be the motivation I have been searching for? Could this be what lights a fire under my so-much-bigger-than-it-used-to-be butt??? Then there is the question - could I complete it? Heck Yeah I could! I could do it, now will I? I guess then only way to know is to go... right?

Something tells me this is no mudda truckas mud run...yikes!