I, in all honesty, should be studying for my exam in Fitness Leadership, but here I am composing another entry. I hope this is not reflected in my grade ;)
My friend at work just said "yesterday was 'working naked day', I missed that one"
I replied, "Well I think judging by the people around here, we dodged a bullet!"
I don't know why I find that so funny, I am just silly I guess.
Today has been a pretty good day. The baby was up at 130am to nurse, then back to bed by ten after two. My alarm went off at 5, and I got up right before the snooze alarm... I got out a ran this morning, nothing super great, I mean hell, I got out of bed, so even if it was any slower (which I couldn't imagine) - it was something! I was hesitant since Monday was 62 degrees at 530, and today was 42... ah burr! I am not really a fan of running in the cold, but after a little while it's ok.
I think I have a tapeworm, no not really, but I am starving today! I ate my lunch before my swim, which wasn't my best decision... I need to find more snacks to bring to work, I found out the hard way that 2 Fiber Plus bars in an 8 hour period is NO GOOD!
Anyway, I made it to the pool today during lunch, this was an internal battle for some reason. I guess some days you're more motivated than others, whatcha gonna do right? I did it though, and I actually kept track of my laps, which almost never happens! I am not a fast swimmer, and I am sure I am far from graceful, pretty confident that no one around me was thinking how much they wanted to emulate my techniques...lol The good news is, I am really loving the swimming! I am sure I won't be setting any records at my first triathlon, but I am enjoying the pool.
I really need to get this bike thing going. I mean I know how to ride a bike, so step one (on my list...lol) is a CHECK! I don't have a real tri bike, nor will I rush out to buy one - let me see if I can complete this first, see if I get the triFever like I did with running after I completed my first race. I am wondering how people get started training for the bike portion of a triathlon, I guess I should have taken a class or something... I think I am most nervous about swimming and biking next to other people... I don't want to be 'that girl' who takes down a dozen bicyclists at this event!
Ok, well I guess I will have to study soon, hopefully Ms. Gabriella cooperates and I can get an hour or two of quiet time to review... Why do I wait until the last minute? I guess because it's my last course for my major, I have been doing this so long, I can't focus half the time! [Again, I apologize Christine, I really do enjoy the class...lol]
Oh and I am feeling a bit spicy so I leave you with this - If you haven't done some kind of physical activity today - get off your ass now before it's tomorrow!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Insensitivity...
Last week someone made a comment that really hurt my feelings. I am sure they didn't think anything of it, and I am usually not so easily bruised, but I just can't get it off my mind. I knew that it effected me more than I realized, when I was thinking about it on my run this morning. Man I love running, it really helps me clarify my mind, process my thoughts and feelings... besides I love listening to Eminem too!
So, I might not be a fast runner, or as skinny as I used to be, and I certainly can't seem to do a sit up, but could it be because I didn't workout enough when I pregnant? I am not really sure. I know I did what I felt I could. I swam and walked, and maybe my marathon training stopped after I had the first miscarriage, and with this last pregnancy, I put my PR's on the back burner and focused on having a baby. I know all people are not created equal when it comes to fitness, athleticism and body composition, usually it rides a pretty big wave amongst a crowd. I really thought I was doing fairly well considering my baby girl is just 12 weeks old, apparently in some peoples eyes, I am not.
What most people don't know is how someone like myself has struggled with body image and disordered eating from my early teens. There was a time when my daily intake was a diet coke and a pack of Marlboro Reds. I didn't exercise, just starved myself because I wasn't skinny enough - for who or what I couldn't really pinpoint. All 115 pounds of myself was a sad little mess, convinced that one day I would join the ranks of my obese family tree, or the guys wouldn't like me, or the girls thought I was fat, like I said, I couldn't pinpoint it. At one point I had what looked like little bruises, my grandmother thought I have leukemia, but it was just a vitamin deficiency - apparently there isn't any vitamins in diet coke...imagine that. I couldn't tell you what got me out of my funk, but it took me a long time to not look at food an as enemy. There are still times when I am not feeling so great about myself, I stand in front of the mirror and grab my fat, in tears, cursing food and fat and anything else. Of course instead of starving myself, I have gone the other way, I start eating... I guess the good news is, I can't bring myself to purge, so I leave bulimia to someone else.
If you think it is easy for me to be larger than I normally am, you would be sadly mistaken. Last night I was organizing my closet, those 4's & 6's from the past few years are now nestled away in bins just awaiting for the time, I can once again fit into them and I will fit in them again.
I just wonder how a health professional would approach a client who was coming back from a life altering event, perhaps a little out of shape, a little larger and a little less capable. Maybe making an offhand comment on what they should have been doing would be okay? It's not the approach I will take, that is for sure.
Perhaps I am a little too sensitive these days; maybe I am still hormonal? At the end of the day, I just need to let it go... It's what is best for me.
I will achieve my weight goals through healthy balanced eating and exercise. After all, I am not 16 anymore - I am a mother, and now I have a daughter. It's up to me to set a good example for her, so she knows self worth is not found in a number in your britches and validation is not found in the words of bitches.
Well time to head out for a swim... doing all I can, in a reasonable way, at a suitable pace.
So, I might not be a fast runner, or as skinny as I used to be, and I certainly can't seem to do a sit up, but could it be because I didn't workout enough when I pregnant? I am not really sure. I know I did what I felt I could. I swam and walked, and maybe my marathon training stopped after I had the first miscarriage, and with this last pregnancy, I put my PR's on the back burner and focused on having a baby. I know all people are not created equal when it comes to fitness, athleticism and body composition, usually it rides a pretty big wave amongst a crowd. I really thought I was doing fairly well considering my baby girl is just 12 weeks old, apparently in some peoples eyes, I am not.
What most people don't know is how someone like myself has struggled with body image and disordered eating from my early teens. There was a time when my daily intake was a diet coke and a pack of Marlboro Reds. I didn't exercise, just starved myself because I wasn't skinny enough - for who or what I couldn't really pinpoint. All 115 pounds of myself was a sad little mess, convinced that one day I would join the ranks of my obese family tree, or the guys wouldn't like me, or the girls thought I was fat, like I said, I couldn't pinpoint it. At one point I had what looked like little bruises, my grandmother thought I have leukemia, but it was just a vitamin deficiency - apparently there isn't any vitamins in diet coke...imagine that. I couldn't tell you what got me out of my funk, but it took me a long time to not look at food an as enemy. There are still times when I am not feeling so great about myself, I stand in front of the mirror and grab my fat, in tears, cursing food and fat and anything else. Of course instead of starving myself, I have gone the other way, I start eating... I guess the good news is, I can't bring myself to purge, so I leave bulimia to someone else.
If you think it is easy for me to be larger than I normally am, you would be sadly mistaken. Last night I was organizing my closet, those 4's & 6's from the past few years are now nestled away in bins just awaiting for the time, I can once again fit into them and I will fit in them again.
I just wonder how a health professional would approach a client who was coming back from a life altering event, perhaps a little out of shape, a little larger and a little less capable. Maybe making an offhand comment on what they should have been doing would be okay? It's not the approach I will take, that is for sure.
Perhaps I am a little too sensitive these days; maybe I am still hormonal? At the end of the day, I just need to let it go... It's what is best for me.
I will achieve my weight goals through healthy balanced eating and exercise. After all, I am not 16 anymore - I am a mother, and now I have a daughter. It's up to me to set a good example for her, so she knows self worth is not found in a number in your britches and validation is not found in the words of bitches.
Well time to head out for a swim... doing all I can, in a reasonable way, at a suitable pace.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Live and Die by the List
Lists... I love to make lists, I make a list for everything. If I don't make a list, I will inevitably forget something. I once made a list for the grocery store on a sticky note. I got out of the car, there was a big gust of wind and the list blew away... there I was heading into the store at a loss for what I needed. The other day I was cleaning out my desk at home and I must have found 3 or 4 lists. Now, I obviously cannot possibly accomplish everything on my list. Sometimes I will do something, then add it to the list just so I can mark it off complete!
When Gabriella started daycare, I had a list stuck to the door so I wouldn't forget anything on my way out. After a few days, I ignored the list, as if it wasn't even there... and I managed to forget her bottles - twice.
I think I continue making lists because in some way it is comforting. I am a control freak, so I believe making a list of everything I want to get done, somehow makes it more possible. My husband thinks I am crazy with lists, 'Oh no, not another list'... 'Whatcha doing there, making another list?'... yeah, I am pretty crazy with it, but hey there are worse things I could be doing, right?
Last semester I had mini-stickies on the inside of my pocket calendar, listing all the assignments that were due, organized by date of when I wanted to do them. Seemed to work out ok, I did hold on to my 4.0!
You would think with all these lists, I would have already gotten the thank you cards done from our wedding (May 2009), or the baby shower (Oct 2010), or even most recently, the birth announcements (Dec 2010)... I guess these are examples of things that didn't get crossed off the list? Yes, I seem to have a mental block on anything requiring postage! Would it be too late to send those? How about if someone gave a gift for the wedding, and the shower - should they get everything all in one envelope?
Last weekend I made a list of things to get done, normal procedure. I want to say maybe half of the things got done... maybe it's better than no list though... I am never discouraged when I don't get it all done, I usually rewrite it and date it for the next weekend!
Sometimes I think that I make lists so I can stop thinking about stuff. Lists of tasks, goals, thoughts, groceries, bills... all of that, off my mind because it's down on paper!
Anyway, I am sure I am not alone in my passion for the list - I see plenty of people walking around holding a list!
..
...
....blog about lists... CHECK!
p.s. If you were someone who should have received aforementioned thank you card, rest assured, you're on my list! ;)
When Gabriella started daycare, I had a list stuck to the door so I wouldn't forget anything on my way out. After a few days, I ignored the list, as if it wasn't even there... and I managed to forget her bottles - twice.
I think I continue making lists because in some way it is comforting. I am a control freak, so I believe making a list of everything I want to get done, somehow makes it more possible. My husband thinks I am crazy with lists, 'Oh no, not another list'... 'Whatcha doing there, making another list?'... yeah, I am pretty crazy with it, but hey there are worse things I could be doing, right?
Last semester I had mini-stickies on the inside of my pocket calendar, listing all the assignments that were due, organized by date of when I wanted to do them. Seemed to work out ok, I did hold on to my 4.0!
You would think with all these lists, I would have already gotten the thank you cards done from our wedding (May 2009), or the baby shower (Oct 2010), or even most recently, the birth announcements (Dec 2010)... I guess these are examples of things that didn't get crossed off the list? Yes, I seem to have a mental block on anything requiring postage! Would it be too late to send those? How about if someone gave a gift for the wedding, and the shower - should they get everything all in one envelope?
Last weekend I made a list of things to get done, normal procedure. I want to say maybe half of the things got done... maybe it's better than no list though... I am never discouraged when I don't get it all done, I usually rewrite it and date it for the next weekend!
Sometimes I think that I make lists so I can stop thinking about stuff. Lists of tasks, goals, thoughts, groceries, bills... all of that, off my mind because it's down on paper!
Anyway, I am sure I am not alone in my passion for the list - I see plenty of people walking around holding a list!
..
...
....blog about lists... CHECK!
p.s. If you were someone who should have received aforementioned thank you card, rest assured, you're on my list! ;)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)