Thursday, July 28, 2011

Who's Plan is it Anyway?

Sometimes in life, you have a plan and then you have reality. Most times, your plan is not his plan. What do you do when faced with that fact? You release your expectations, and put your faith in him. There have been few moments in life where I have been truly disappointed, yes I feel really blessed to be able to say that. Through my life, there have definitely been challenges, crosses to bare, responsibility to take, things it is just easier to accept than not, and times when it's better for me to just forgive then to hold onto anger.

This past week has really been a time when I wonder, What is going on? I feel like I am trying so hard to do good for people, for the community and for charity and yet I am faced with ignorance, resistance and greed. So what is a girl to do? Well, I guess I just try to handle myself in the most appropriately contained manner possible, biting my tongue and holding back all that runs through my mind (aka applying the filter).

This week I had a chick I have known since High School threaten to delete me from Facebook (yeah, mature I know) because she was annoyed by all the status updates regarding exercise, health and general wellbeing. Apparently, I was advertising and not using FB for personal use. At first my reaction was, Do what you have to! Then, as I sat back I couldn't believe that she was so bothered, she would post on my wall about how she was going to delete me again (I guess she had deleted me before but whatever). To be honest, I was hurt. This is the same girl that messaged me asking for advice on running, asked about losing weight, but now, she was annoyed. So, I did what anyone in the situation should do - I deleted her from my friends list because if she was so rude - why would I want her on my friend list?

We even had this logo!
Today delivered a rather disappointing piece of news. For those who do not know, I have been working since May to bring the Stephen Siller Tunnel to Towers 5k Run to Myrtle Beach. I thought I had the backing of the running club I belonged to. After months of working on this, taking time off from work to attend meetings, taking evenings away from my family to plan and discuss, I was blindsided when Sunday I received an e-mail stating that the board was going to vote as to whether or not they were going to go with the Tunnel to Towers, or just create a local event. So, there I was confused and wondering why they wasted my time? I could have looked for others who would support me. Today was the vote, at 730am, and they obviously voted against the T2T event. You would think with all that I had done to bring this event to the beach that I would at least get a call. Yeah, I did but it wasn't until almost 5pm. I didn't get to answer, and the voicemail was so garbled there is not telling what was said. What I do know is that I knew it was voted out because on the race listing, the name had been changed. Now they will have a local event and I will be left to explain why the registration isn't open anymore (because I was told to go ahead and start the registration and social media campaign)... I was livid. I have to say at this point in my life, I try not to let things get me down but I was honestly, wholeheartedly disappointed. It appears I put faith into people who were too worried about money than charity. They obviously missed the whole point of the event...

I Tink We CAN!
Of course Heather knowing I was down, did the best thing that she could. She got us started on the Team in Training Inaugural Tinkerbell 1/2 Marathon Team! I really needed that... We've been talking about it for a little while, and today was the perfect day to kick it off! So Team Epton along with RunFasterMommy, are now members of Team in Training (TNT) and if you would like to support us on our journey as we raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, please feel free to donate!

So as I really give thought to those who will benefit from this fundraiser, I have to thank God for all the blessings I do have, a loving supportive family, my health, and genuine happiness. I also had a moment while talking with my dear friend Tanhena, as I was in crazy old Walmart, she said, 'You are amazingly positive and very zen about the whole situation' (regarding the 9/11 Event debacle) and it was because I knew that everything does happen for a reason, and perhaps it was not in his plan for me to focus on that one event, but to use my energies with TNT, and I am perfectly happy to do just that.

I guess my point is, you can plan all you want, you can pretend to be in complete control of where you are going, and how you think your life should be... the reality is, you are none of those things. You take the good with the bad, accept the things you cannot change, and place your faith wisely... There is always someone who is suffering, who is sick, and someone who would switch places with you in a heartbeat. Time to start appreciating all that is good in life, and focus your energies on all that is positive because negative thoughts, feelings and actions will never bring you closer to happiness and fulfillment.


  1. I feel like this encompasses the lesson lie has been trying to teach me all year:
    "you can pretend to be in complete control of where you are going, and how you think your life should be... the reality is, you are none of those things." I keep remembering the serenity prayer and I think I'm finally starting to understand it a little bit:

    "God grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change;
    courage to change the things I can;
    and wisdom to know the difference."

  2. ok that is rude of the fb person

    and i am so sorry about the tower to tunnel race. i leave in nj and have always wanted to do the race. i can remember watching the first one on tv and it gave me goosebumps and i think the firman tom from survivor ran it.

  3. Very disappointed to read this about the T2T event. I wondered why every time I tried to register, the site would say registration was no longer available. The running club made a big mistake on this. They sent the email that had me watching for this race. Thank you very much for your efforts!