Since the start of my running 'career', my debut being in 1993, which happens to coincide with day one of ARMY boot camp, I had never had much desire to log long distances. Over the past year, I have developed this obsession with conquering my own fears of failure, removing self imposed limits, and setting out to do things I thought, for me, were impossible. I just had to start, I had to be brave enough to take that step… If you remember, on October 23rd, I did my first Half Marathon. My chip time 2:42:22, a good effort for not having the proper training and thinking that new shoes and orthotics wouldn't play into any issues while running 13.1, which incidentally, was about 6 miles longer than I had ever run before. As I saw some of my friends post their times, for some reason, I began feeling a little embarrassed about my finish time, especially when everyone I know (and who ran on Sunday) finished anywhere from 15-45minutes before me… Of course I had to remind myself again, not to compare myself to others, simply focus on my accomplishments. Seems to be a theme for me, but my race is my race and I am happy for all those who finish their race, regardless of how fast or not fast in your opinion it may be!
We all have points whether we are trying to lose weight, increase our strength, agility, or just keep fit, where we look at the person next to us and think, Why can't I be that thin, fast, strong, or whatever. Now, I don't want to lecture on owning our pace and not comparing ourselves to others, that was my last post. I just felt like I got out there and ran for me without expectation, with out a plan, just laced up and hit the road and it rejuvenated me, it brought me this empowerment. Sure you may be sitting there reading this and thinking, a 9:45 avg? Is she even serious? What a turtle! (Ok, if you are seriously thinking that stop reading my blog and move on) BUT that feeling I had, it was almost indescribable (honestly, I felt like I was going faster) how at ease I was and at the same time, pushing myself a little harder… For once (in a long while) I felt like, it's not about anyone else - it's about me and the progress I am making, it's about my goals, my journey, and I am feeling FABULOUS! (I totally read that with the sound of OPRAH saying it…did you?)
It is that feeling, that desire to put out the best I have to offer that reminds me of why I run. In reality, not all runs will feel like that. Just today I had a run that sucked a$$, and I was telling my friend how I wished every run could be awesome, but is it going to stop me from getting out there tomorrow? Heck NO!
Speaking of which, I have a 5k tomorrow, the CareTeam 5k AIDS Run/Walk… I'd be lying if I said I am not looking to have a PR type run, 29:22 was my best since the baby (and quite honestly probably the best since I started "racing") ***Correction*** Apparently in Oct of 2009, I ran Lindsey's Miracle 5k for the Make a Wish Foundation and finished in a speedy 28:57, who knew? *** and I would LOVE to see myself push really hard and do it under 29 (secretly I'd love, love, love a 9mm throughout - but lets be reasonable here…lol). If I don't PR, well, I won't be too hard on myself. I know I will have gotten out, helped a charitable cause by running a few miles, and honestly, doing good work by doing what you enjoy…what is better than that? Nothing.