Reminiscing for Future Success

I know I can NOT be alone on this one. Reminiscing about how things used to be, and trying to get back to the point where things were just that good. Unfortunately, human nature rarely allows us the ability to bask in the glory of our current achievements,  - we are too busy not yet being good enough for the next best thing that we want to happen for us... So as I looked back at all my runs that have been collected on my nikeplus account, I reminisce about how awesome it felt to run an 8:30 min/mile, why didn't I appreciate my gazelle (ok, well it was gazelle for me!) type speed? Oh right, because I was too concerned with why I couldn't do an 8:15 min/mile!

Now as I wallow in my 10:15 - 10:30, I long for the days when I could move along in my runs, thinking to myself, damn your good...lol I know, I just had Gabriella 5 months ago, but come on, I am like superwoman, I should already be back to peak condition right? so wrong... I am sure there are others who would have or proved to be better than I am at getting back into it, I feel like a slacker but this is reality.

My reality is wake up calls at 2am, sometimes earlier and more often than once a night. It's having to be up and out of the house by 7:15am to drop the little bit at daycare and the bigger bit at high school, oh and be to work by 7:45am! Getting home at 5:30-6pm and knowing I have bottles to wash, reload with all the pumping I did at work (I am fairly awesome at multi-tasking) and prepare everything for the next morning... Run? When? Yeah, it's not easy... I did join an adult running clinic so I could have no excuse but to run on Monday nights, then I am supposed to do at least 2 more runs during the week. Night time running sucks (in my opinion anyway) because I feel so blah by the end of the day - I want to stay in with my family, watch old Seinfeld & King of Queens, and eat dinner...lol

So here I am thinking about how awesome I once was, and trying to use it to my advantage. I guess it's kind of like getting older, all those things you used to do, stay up all night, drink until you puke, get in at 4am, up by 8am feeling great - ok, well somethings we can't or don't care to relive... but that 8:30min/mile, You are on my radar! I am taking this reminiscent state of mind and I am using it as my motivation....go ahead and tell me it can't be done - I dare you... It will only make we work harder just to prove you wrong!

It's going to take some time, and outcome goals aren't really my style, so first stop on the "I'm about to be awesome again" tour, sub 10's, consistantly for at least 5 runs... then we will reassess, and then on to the next stop! I tell you what, with all this goal setting, I just might get back into all my pre-wedding clothes...lmao!!!

My new toy thanks to my wonderful husband!

Earlier this week, my husband asked me to pick up the baby from daycare because he wanted to go to the store and pick up a watch he could wear to work and not worry about messing it up. So that was no problem, of course I can do that... Well I am home nursing my angel when he gets home. He comes in and shows me his new watch. I tell him it's a nice watch. He says, I think it has GPS on it, you want it for your runs? I thought, you got a GPS watch for $40? I declined, it's your watch honey, I have my ipod and nike plus sensor...

My newest toy, thanks 
to my wonderful husband!

Next thing I know, he turns around, hands me a box and says, How about this one, it has GPS too! I thought I was going to cry... call it hormones, call it a sappy moment, call me a runner... I was teary eyed! He had bought me a Forerunner 110, I just couldn't believe it! Talk about being supportive of my running, he gets the 'best most supportive hubby ever' award! What more can a girl ask for?

What was also exciting was that I was starting my Adult Running Clinic that evening, couldn't have been better timing! I was a little bummed that I couldn't use it because I had to charge it fully first, but I was so happy to have a Garmin - I plugged it in to charge right away!

On Wednesday, I made it out for my maiden run with my new Garmin... I probably should have read the book or something because I was skittish to touch any of the buttons besides 'start' and 'stop'... I did use the lap button to time my 4:1's - it worked beautifully! It's amazing how something like this can motivate you to do more, push harder and want to get back out on the road again... tomorrow is the Krispy Kreme Challenge, I signed up for the 10k, but not to eat the donuts... just to run. I am so looking forward to getting out there and logging some miles!

I really am a lucky lady, as I sit in bed watching funny animated videos on YouTube about running, only to look over and notice he is putting on his headphones in order to listen to his stuff... I guess that might be a hint to me...lol

Stephen is a very patient man with a heart the size of California... which leads me to my next desire, I just threw out the idea of going to the Tinkerbell 1/2 Marathon in Jan 2012 over dinner, I wonder if I am pushing the envelope??? 

The Heat is On!

Oh it's that time of the semester when all our projects are coming due... talk about just a little stress! Every semester is the same thing, so why am I always feeling the same way? First, I am nervous before it starts, then freaking out until I have taken at least the first exam. Followed by weeks of, "will this ever end" syndrome, only to be smacked in the face with "That is due when???"... This week is my marketing plan which has been brewing in my head for weeks, next week is my lesson plan, that is a thorn in my backside... then the following week will be client meet & greets, followed by assessments, and a final packet to present to the client... I think my blood pressure and body temp just jumped up thinking about it!

The sad part of all this is that I am so close to the end of finishing this degree and I am like the little blue engine before he picked up the 'I think I can' mantra... I am overloaded, overwhelmed and almost out of gas... I don't want to quit by any means, but I am burnt the hell out! I need to find that last little push of motivation to finish this semester, then I have the summer to rest up for Fall... I hate wishing time away, but sometimes I think, I just can't wait for it to be done!!! A Masters Degree in my future, highly unlikely...lol

You ever feel like you're treading water for so long, you just don't know how much more you can do? That is how the past week or two has felt... I have so much going on and it's like I don't want to not do it all, but I just really don't know if I can do it all...I keep going because it's a challenge and I want to say, I did it... but will it really be worth it? I have been taking some seriously big deep breathes lately, I just hope I can keep it together... Just a few more weeks right? I got this... >>>Deep Breathe<<<

p.s. I ran in the Building Futures for Autism 5k this weekend. I improved my overall time by 7:30min... just 2 more minutes to drop per mile...but no stress on that!